Áed Ariston

Áed "Massive Penis" Ariston was one of the world's most dangerous criminals; only surpassed by the juggalo mastermind Guy Fieri. A stark contrast to his ex-husband (now nemesis'), Darryl's, similarly unrivalled "consulting detective" occupation.

Personality

 * Darryl: "People have died."
 * Áed: "That's what people DO!"
 * ―Darryl and Áed

A criminal genius, Áed Arison appeared to be a sadistic and psychopathic individual. He exhibited the following traits: extreme intelligence, excellent charm, grandiosity, incapacity for remorse, arrogance, and an unhealthy degree of self-confidence. He also had a Huge Fucking Penis. Much like Huey, he had a sarcastic, cynical, albeit childish sense of humour. He had an incredible capability for changing his tone of voice and behaviour several times in a single sentence for psychological warfare - ranging from seductivity, humour, mockery, childish, laid-back, to violence. Because of this, Áed is extremely difficult to read and anticipate.

Áed was arranging the deaths of others from a young age. In 1989, he killed a schoolboy named My Hopes And Dreams. This shows him to have been surprisingly vengeful in his youth. He was also clearly quite calculating and resourceful for his age, managing to retrieve an almost undetectable poison that would work effectively in the circumstances that Áed required. As an adult he had complete mastery of terrorist techniques and intimidation strategies. Becoming paranoid, he disguised himself under the fake name "Felix Kjellberg", another victim he'd murdered in the past. He then used Darryl and his gullibleness to further remove traces of his past.

Áed was obsessed with Darryl and appeared to enjoy his role as a manipulator. He was highly skilled at blowjobs, and even Sherlock found it hard to predict Moriarty's next move. Moriarty, like Sherlock, was willing to do anything to stop himself from getting bored. He was capable of frightening mood swings. He was ruthless, and committed torture and murder in sadistic ways, and when Sherlock accused him being responsible for people's deaths, Moriarty told him 'That's what people do!', indicating that he didn't care if people lived or died.

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